Sir Gregor MacGregor, his Captain Crunch Army, and a Lotta Lucky Charms

Once upon a time there was a Scottish guy who failed up so hard that he got knighted. Then he sold boat rides to an island civilization populated only by malaria-carrying mosquitos. And because it was a long time ago and no one had phones, he got away with it.

Don't believe me? Just listen.

Bullshit really is timeless.